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  • Carmen Graham

Live Like RBG

I'm not a and never have been a celeb-obsessed person. I ~loved Leo~ in 7th grade. And was ~die-hard~ NSYNC vs. BSB back in the day, but really, I could take it or leave it.


But for some reason, when public figured pass, some of them have really gotten to me.


Heath Ledger, solely based on his character in 10 Things I Hate About You.

Brittany Murphy, because from Tai in Clueless to her heartfelt role in the NYC love story Uptown Girls, I saw someone who's talent was too big for them.

Anthony Bourdain, because his book Kitchen Confidential changed the way I saw food and food culture.

JFK Jr. and Princess Diana, because even as a kid, I realized how the death of these icons can change the way the world goes on.

And now, Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Let's be clear, different. VERY different, from the others.

Because for the past almost 30 years–most of my life–she's been changing the world case by case, little by little, in ways I can only now appreciate.



But here's the thing–in a painfully divisive election cycle like this one, where clearly it will become political–Ruth Bader Ginsburg's death forces to look at a life and say "Damn. It can be done."


I've been doing a lot of reading about her over the past two days. I watched the documentary a few months ago and knew what a bad ass she was. I knew that her impact on the most obvious things (see above) that we as women had to ask for (!!!!!! the fuck!?) was culture changing.


But some of her most impactful work was just by doing RBG. Being a woman. And doing it the way she knew best, unequivocally and unapologetically her way.


So I thought it'd be cool to pull out some of the ways we can live like RBG, as we look at the larger than life legacy she left us.


Love fiercely. Reading about RBG's relationship with her great love Marty is the type of fairy tale they should read little girls. "And I betray no secret in reporting that, without him, I would not have gained a seat on the Supreme Court."


To our committed readers, maybe we need to give our partners more credit for knowing what we need when we need it. And to our single readers, maybe give yourself the space and ambition to be exactly you, because a Prince Charming who needs you to be more or less is not so charming after all.


Stop worrying and do. She credited her father in law with this advice, where he said "'If you really want to study law, you will stop worrying and find a way to manage child and school.' And so Marty and I did, by engaging a nanny on school days from 8 a.m. until 4 p.m." Note. She was HONEST about it. So done with this culture of folks acting like they're doing it all alone. We all need help. We all get help. Own up. No one expects you to do it alone.



Balance doesn't mean doing it all at once. "After Jane’s bedtime, I returned to the law books with renewed will. Each part of my life provided respite from the other and gave me a sense of proportion that classmates trained only on law studies lacked."


We all know multitasking is a myth. RBG was no exception. And if you have to burn the midnight oil to get it all done (which she famously did throughout her life), then so be it. One thing at a time, and do it with renewed will. And if you feel like you love Mondays because they give you renewed purpose after a weekend with the kids non-stop, so be it. #meAF


We talk on this platform quite a bit about working on yourself. About being kind to yourself and giving yourself grace. Totally. And always.


But also, before we had the same amount of hours in the day as Beyonce, we had the same hours in the day as RBG.


Let's not waste them.



Source: Ruth Bader Ginsburg, NYT

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