• Melanie Fernandez

This International Women's Day, We Celebrate Women in Transition

By: Carmen Graham, Content Editor

Let me tell you a few things about myself.

I am the ultimate skeptic. I'm not a woo woo, woosah type and I low-key don't understand how people can "still their minds." I am proud of them, but I don't know what it means nor how to do it.

I am not and have never been the type to have a group of 15 girlfriends who do birthday weekend type things. I fiercely care for and protect my tight circle of closest friendships. But they know I'm not a phone person or even a hop on a plane on a whim person. And they love me anyway (or so they tell me).

I also am a comfortable person. I fall into routines and don't change them for YEARS. And I like to be by myself. Some would call it social anxiety. My mom calls it something else...

And I'm somewhat risk averse. To a fault admittedly.

Basically, to love me is to know: I'm a real treat.

And all of the above make me the LEAST likely person to have needed/wanted/been involved with Flower Club. So when Melanie tapped me to help her fulfill the vision I was like I know content...but the rest I leave to you.

But what do we know about ourselves as humans?

We. Change. It's the only constant.

About a year and a half ago, I was a little under 2 years into my marriage. Had a toddler. Had just moved back to my native Miami from my "idyllic" New York life. Had a job that was soul-crushing, but came with a hefty paycheck.

And somewhere in that I had become a miserable human to be around. Anxious and paranoid, I was making bad choices. I was barely eating. I'd kill myself at work only to bitch about it home but wouldn't set the boundaries to change anything. I love my husband and baby with such intensity but I knew they were getting the crappiest parts of me. And yet, I was too paralyzed in my misery to do anything about it. I was petrified to face the music.

When everything came to a head and truly could have unraveled, I was also starting to talk to Melanie about where she was taking HOL. And talking to my friends and my sister about my state of affairs. I knew I needed an out.

Again, not a woosah person. But my sister, my husband, yes, our early Flower Club prompts were all saying the same thing. Stop whining. Start doing. Take back your life. And get out there and start living.

Early Flower Club content

Now to be clear, I have only first world problems. But there was no denying I was in a bad place. Struggling to adjust in Miami. Struggling to adjust with to a toddler. And I hated my job. Because bills are a thing, we needed a plan. But I began to realize there were alternatives. What's more, we had started doing Flower Hours for HOL. I started meeting all these women who had either gone through something similar or provided new perspectives. And I realized how my whole life had changed, but I hadn't taken a second to change with it and find the things that served my new realities.

This past year working on Flower Club, I've put myself out there. I reconnected with people I knew were valuable friends (shoutout #CafecitoChat). I've met women who in some way or another, were in the same boat or had been on that boat. I put my pride aside and dove head first into our finances, so I could set myself up for success when I finally quit the soul-crushing job. Eventually, I manifested–yes, manifested–a new job that made my heart happy. And still paid the bills. I kept moonlighting on content to serve our Flower Club community newsletter–and myself–in the process. Hell, we had another baby!

(That's me, super pregnant @ Flower Hour)



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